Who Wants to Marry a Lily?
by Ashes Forgotten
Summary: The story of Lily Evans after Hogwarts and all of her weddings . . .


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A/N- this is not a song fic though I just really had a good idea for one. LMAO! I just got back from my cousin wedding and had a great idea. I have no clue when or how I am going to publish this since I am using my Grandma's computer while I am visiting. This is err… my version of Lily and ____ wedding and this has no plot really just words strung together to form sentences. Some humor in here that most will get though some people might not understand it. 

DISCLAIMER- nothing is mine so don't sue because I am just a poor lil Texan with a temper and I will take you to court and personally shove an armadillo and rifle up your ass.

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Cake, Groom, Bells! And Pot?

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FLASH BACK:

"Hello fine ladies!" A skinny boy walked into the train compartment that was currently occupied by three first years and was soon followed by three rowdy boys.

"Um…Who are you and why the hell are you in OUR compartment. I am sure there is somewhere else for you four to sit." A tall red-haired girl stood up and glared at the boy.

"Well sorry carrots! I think we will stay just for you." He sat down opposite the girls and the other boys sat down next to him.

"Call me carrots again and I sock you." Her fists clenched and eyes narrowed.

"Ha like you can hurt me!" 

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BAM!

"Care to restate that?" The boy was lying on the ground holding his jaw.

"LILY! You stop that right now!" Another tall girl with brown hair stood up and pushed Lily back down into her seat.

"Fine but he started it!" She glared at the boy who was being helped up by his friends as the brown haired girl looked around and sighed.

"Sorry about that but my friend has a bit of a temper. My name is Arabella Figg!" Arabella was a pureblood from a popular wizarding family. She was somewhat tall and had long brown hair that was French Braided into pigtails. Her ice eyes made her very pretty for an eleven-year old kid and she was always calm and serious but would never pass up on a chance to cause some trouble.

"It's ok he probably needed that knock to bring down his ego a bit. My name is Remus Lupin." A pale, skinny, sand colored hair, blue eyed boy spoke up. Remus was also very calm and levelheaded but he was also a werewolf but not one of his friends or people in that compartment knew that. 

"I'm Peter Pettigrew nice to meet you three and don't worry he isn't always that mean." The chubby boy who was sitting in the corner spoke up. Peter Pettigrew was different from the other boys but they all loved him because of his unique personality and he was popular among people because of his stupid comments. 

"I'm Trinity and did I tell you that you four are really hot?" The slender blonde in the corner laughed and twirled her hair around her finger. Trinity Starbucks was your perfect stereotype of a dumb blonde. She was pureblood, blonde, blue eyed, and a girly girl. She hated to actually work and was always flirting. Oh and she was VERY blunt. 

"No you didn't but you can tell me again cutie. My names Sirius Black but you can call me anything or anytime." Sirius Black was just as bad as Trinity when it came to flirting. With the dangerous rebel look he drove some girls wild. He unlike Trinity loved to get dirty and play pranks and that was why he was a part of the Marauders.

"God you two are so pathetic. Dude! Trinity you spin the hair anymore and it's gonna break off. Ugh am I the only sane one in here? No offense Bella." She sighed and slumped back in her chair in a very un-lady like manner. 

"Don't mind her guys. Her name is Lily Evans and just a hint the red-head temper sticks with her." Lily Evans was the only Muggleborn in that compartment and she was ultimately the most powerful. She wasn't prefect or anything and if she cleaned herself up a bit she would have been beautiful but no. Lily Evans was a very big tomboy with short red hair and emerald green eyes. Sure she could look innocent but she was anything but that. Lily stuck with boys her whole life even when she lived in America and people like Trinity got on her nerves a lot. With a temper to be feared no one ever looked down on her or teased her. Tomboy, rebel, rocker, punk, or whatever you call her she was still unlike any other girl and was far from clumsy.

"Who cares about her. I am the magnificent and all powerful JAMES POTTER!" James Potter was your not so average pureblood wizard. Yeah he was rich and his parents spoiled him but that just added to his ego. With messy black hair that stuck out all over the place and violet eyes a lot of girls loved him while others (Lily) thought he was ugly and resembled a piece of llama dung. 

"More like a wasted pothead."

"Mutt."

"Llama Dung."

"Huh?"

"Oh I keep forgetting you are a self-absorbed English dude and have no clue what Llama dung is."

"Wait you aren't English?"

"Um no I ain't! I was born in America pothead. I can mimic an English accent though." All of the sudden her perfect English accent dropped and changed to its original slow southern drawl. 

"I AM NOT A POTHEAD!"

"You are to!" The others looked at the two first years screaming at each other and sighed.

"This is going to be some long seven years ahead of us. Right guys?

"Hell yeah Bella!"

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END FLASH BACK

"I can't believe I was so immature back then! Can you Bella?" An older version of Lily Evans sat in front of the mirror brushing her short red hair and talking to her best friend. They were both eighteen now and out of Hogwarts. Eight years had passed since that train ride and now it was Lily's wedding day.

"Yeah I can believe it because you still are!" Lily laughed and threw the brush at her maid of honor. 

"You are so mean Bella. Hey where is Trinity?" The door busted open and both girls turned to stare.

"I'M HERE!" The still ditzy Trinity walked in followed by two other of Lily's friends.

"I kinda noticed that hun." Lilt sighed and got walking towards the window. "How much longer Bella?"

"Well let's see you have about and 30 minutes until the photographer comes and then another 30 until it starts. Don't worry Lil ok?" Lily cracked a smile and turned towards Arabella.

"Do I look like I am worrying?" 

"Actually no you don't and you are scaring me. So Trinity did Des, Dria, and you bring us some food?" The three girls pulled out a bunch of bags and dropped them on the table.

"We went to the local muggle burger joint called WhataBurger and picked some food up. Are we going to be allowed into the dressing room yet?" 

(A/N- WhataBurger is an actual burger place in Corpus Christi, Texas and is just like a McDonalds only it is found in Texas only. If you are ever in Texas seriously try the fries they are really good.)

"Ok ladies you are allowed up now. Go on up the stairs to the top floor and then go in the door at the right." Lily sighed again and slowly walked up the 4 flights of stairs until she reached the top room. 

"Come on Lily walk in already besides the bags of food might break soon." She pushed the door open and gasped. There on the table surrounded by boxes and bags was a vase of 24 sparkling red roses. Lily walked over to the table and read the card and burst out crying. 

"What's wrong Lily?" Dria rushed over and looked at the card while Bella hugged her. "It's from Sirius, Remus, and Peter. What's wrong with that? Oh I see the message."

"Listen Lil it's going to be ok so don't worry and get dressed." Lily nodded and slipped into her white dress robes and searched around for her brush while the bride's maid put on their emerald dress robes.

"Oh look people are starting to show up!" Trinity was already dressed and ready and was looking out the window as people passed by down under the window. 

"Girls the photographer is here." Lily sighed again and looked at the other five girls. 

"You girls remember in 6th year when we err… decorated James?" This caused a flash flood of laughter to erupt from the girls.

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FLASH BACK:

"Hey guys!" Dria waltzed over to the Gryffindor table and sat down soon followed by Bella, Trinity, and Destiny. 

"WASSSSSSSSSUP!" James stuck his tongue out 

"Ugh cut the Scary Movie act Potter. You overly use the already lame phrase. For you information your head is up your ass so shut up and go away."

"Oh look who graces us with her presence. It's Princess ::cough:: Lily with her usual sarcastic attitude. Care to enlighten us why you visit us humble people?"

"I'm gonna pop the huge ego balloon you got over your head one day Potter and it ain't gonna be pretty. Besides I ain't no princess and I eat here so shove it up your_____."

"Lily, James please stop the fighting its way to early." Arabella nodded and stared back down into her yogurt.

"Fine Remus! Besides I gotta go to the library to look some shit up on a project."

"Let me guess that project would have to be torturing me in a very painful manner." Lily smirked and threw muffin at his head where it bounced off it.

"You know Potter you should learn to keep your comments to yourself."

'That kind of hurt mutt." Lily stopped short and turned around slowly.

"Don't call me that Potter!" Picking up a huge bowl of slimy bat guys she dumped it all over him and turned his hair bright pink. (A/N- don't ask the bowl of bat guts just appeared. It's like in RPG everything just ¥ poof ¥ into your hand.) 

"You Lil I think you decorated Mr. Potter here very nicely but it just needs the Dria touch!" Kassiandria smiled and made James sprout llama fur. 

"Much better Dria! Want to add something Des?" Lily and Dria glanced over at Destiny who was laughing her head off at the confused James.

"Oh joy my turn!" She laughed again and James grew some bunny ears.

"Oh James you look so adorable! You are missing something though what is it?" Trinity pretended to think really hard and then snapped her fingers. "I GOT IT!" She laughed and soon James was wearing a bright pink tutu.

"MY TURN! Let's see James I think a new nose would suit you perfectly!" Bella pointed her sleek wand at him and he had a beak where his nose once was."

"No fair you girls are having all the fun! I want in!"

"Sirius you're his best friend though!"

"So!" Soon James was sporting frog legs in the back.

"Having fun yet James?" James opened his mouth to scream out for help but Remus quickly silenced him by changing his voice into a girly one. 

"Ok Peter you're turn for some fun!" Peter warily glanced at James and sighed.

"Hold on let me think a minute!" He pointed his wand at James and instead of a pig's tail on his butt he had whole rear end of an emu. "Oops! Sorry James!" Lily laughed and walked out of the cafeteria in search of her Quidditch book.

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END FLASH BACK

"Ok I admit that was funny but don't you think we were kind of mean to him?"

"There goes Miss Good Conscious again. Besides Des you are only saying that we were mean to him because you had a crush on him all through Hogwarts and I bet you still do!" Destiny blushed and started to laugh.

"Oh I do Lily but he doesn't like me. So what did the message on the roses say?"

"Oh it was from the guys saying that they were sorry for the way they acted about well you know. Anyway they also congratulated me but they also said that they would only come to my one true wedding. How strange is that?" The others exchanged glances just as the photographer came into view. 

"Enough chit chat girls time for pictures! I need to get this over with and then it's off for you to go get married missy. Oh and I want to congratulate you on the wonderful catch you go there. Real winner if you ask me." This caused a few groans and the all lined up along the stairs and got their pictures taken.

Soon they were all waiting for the music to begin and it to start.

"Ok is it just me or did that photographer seem a bit like Professor Saibu?"

"Oh my god that did sound like her Dria!"

"Ok people stop weird memories of that witch coming back!"

"Like totally Lily. You guys remember her in the day after finals in seventh year?"

"Oh man that was freaky. Entertaining all the same so hey who cares!"

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FLASH BACK:

"Ok Class you already finished your finals there is still much to learn. We can't slack up just because we are finished with an exam. We have to start preparing you for next year that way you will have an early start." A few kids snicker at Professor Saibu as she passed out thick packets of work while others groaned. "Here is all your work until the end of the year and then I'll be giving you your summer work tomorrow."

  
At this Lily rolled her eyes and stood up. "Actually Professor Saibu I'm not going to be turning that in next year. I actually plan on not coming back here next year so I see no reason to do any of this extra work. See I graduate in three days and unlike some people…say Potter for example…they plan on failing as usual and staying back with you. Now if you excuse me you can take your packet back and I am going to go relax and enjoy my last three days of being a Hogwarts students while SOME people need to scramble to pass their seventh year."

"Don't speak to me like that girl. I'll have none of this trying to trick me into thinking you are all seventh years. I can clearly see that you're all second years in Hufflepuff." At this several shouts came from different people and both Sirius and Bella stood up to argue with the dumb Professor.

"ARE YOU BLIND! WE ARE SEVENTH YEAR GRYFFINDORS! NOT SOME DINKY LITTLE TWELVE YEAR OLD HUFFLEPUFFS WHO ARE SCARED OF THEIR OWN SHADOWS!" 

"Excuse me Professor Saibu? I am no twelve-year-old kid even though I sometimes act like it. Ask any other professor but we are very much seventh year Gryffindors. We don't even look like second years. They are all really short and nerdy."

"I refuse to acknowledge your lies so shut up before I am forced to call Professor Dippet in here!"

"SYDNEY SAIBU! PROFESSOR DIPPET RETIRED YEARS BEFORE WE CAME TO HOGWARTS! DUMBLEDORE IS RUNNING THIS SCHOOL NOW!"

"Will you people just shut up for one second?" The room went deadly quiet and looked at Lily who quickly waved her wand and their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was on the floor stunned. "Thank you now if you excuse me I'm hightailing it outta here before I get caught and if any of you squeal on me it's the death of you. Yes including you Potter!" She ran outta the room soon followed by all the seventh year Gryffindors.

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END FLASH BACK

"That class was always fun! Everyone just joked around though we didn't learn anything."

"Figures only Bella would care about not learning things."

"Shut up Des."

"Sure thing Bella. OH DUDE THERE'S THE MUSIC!" She took off outta the room followed by Dria, Trinity, Bella, and then Lily. Taking a deep breath Lily walked down the stuffy church hall towards the altar where her groom stood.

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Why the hell am I doing this? I wish Sirius, Remus, and Peter could be here for support. They would surely talk me out of it. Right? I mean they protested and stopped talking to me after I started dating him. At least the girls started talking to me again. Lily finished walking down the aisle and grimaced as the groom forcefully took her hand. _UGH! If it weren't for the fact I'm to scared to face him and that he beats me I would have broken this off a long time ago. I just can't ruin my life like this! I'm scared though. I mean I have so many scars from where I've stood up to his beatings. It's like I've lost my life or at least my soul. _

Slowly she drifted back to reality as he said "I do!" and the vows were read to her. Finally she looked up into the face of her groom and wanted to scream in pain. _EEK! Those ugly puke eyes, pale pasty skin, yellow crooked teeth, indented nose, and the greasy mop of hair! _

"Do you Lily Evans take Serveus Snape to be you husband?" His eyes narrowed and Lily felt herself cowering back against Bella. _COME ON GIRL HAVE STRENGTH! You haven't gone and turned into some sissy girl now have you?_ She straightened up and looked Snape right in the eye.

"Actually no I don't. Snape its over and you want to know the only reason I'm standing here right now is cause of you abusing me and torturing me. Looks like I've finally found the courage to stand up to you and now I see why my best friends were right about you. I HATE YOU! Don't you ever come near me again or lay one single finger on me again either now get outta my life you greaseball!" Lily slapped him and turned around to storm off when four people standing in the doorway caught her eye.

"SIRIUS! REMUS! YOU GUYS CAME!" She took off down the aisle and jumped into Sirius' arms. Soon after her came the other girls after each one had the opportunity to punch Snape for abusing their friend. "Please guys get me outta here I don't ever wanna look at him again!" She grabbed their arms and ran out hoping never to see that church again.

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FLASH BACK:

"You know Lils one day you and James are gonna get married?"

"Sure Peter when I turn girly and James kisses Snape. Which means never in this life time or any other."

"Yeah you're probably right. Sirius just told me to say that but I think he's sniffing some of Trint's lipstick again."

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END FLASHBACK

"Ok people being the best man here I get to make the first toast cause I'M SPECIAL!" Someone shouted from the back of the garden and Sirius just grinned. "I heard that Roan! No unfortunately I'm not the one getting married to Miss Phoenix over here. Oh I'm just joking don't give me that look boy. This isn't going to be a long toast cause I think Bella wants to say something a bit longer and from the glare she is giving me I would say I am right. Now where should I start? OH YEAH! IT'S ABOUT GODDAMN TIME YOU TWO! It took you what 8 years to realize that you even liked each other in the least and only after she almost married some slime ball. Anyway you two will always be my best friends and I wish you luck and that you don't blow each other up or something. OK I'll go and let Bella have the stage now!" Bella stood up and shoved Sirius off the mini-stage.

"Ok! My turn now and thank you for the small speech Siri. These aren't my words but just a speech that some made in our seventh years and as I read it back to you I hope everyone listens to this." She cleared her throat and began to read off the sheet of paper in front of her. "I shouldn't be here or up here at this moment. Our lives…"

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FLASHBACK:

A nervous Lily gathered her papers and stood behind the podium and with one glance at Dumbledore began to speak. 

"I shouldn't be here or up here at this moment. Our lives are just beginning but mine is just stopping. We grew up in these halls but not by age but by wisdom. I've learned more then magic in these walls but now I feel as if it's all leaving me. I never meant anything to this school or did anything to be remembered by but someday I hope when my kid comes to this school that he will. We have all come so far and to most us leaving here will be like a rebirth. I feel as if I'm being sent to my death. Hogwarts has been my home for seven years now. It's the only home I have and everything about it is my family. Most can't wait to leave but I can.

Like I said I don't deserve to be making this speech. Over the years things have changed for all of us, some for the better and some for the worst. We have all lost things during our stay here including family. In our life we have come to face many crossroads in which we have to choose between people we love. We will always live our lives regretting our decisions that we make. There will always be two that I will always regret. Mine are coming to this place and the other giving up my friends. Why do I regret coming here if I love it so much you may ask. My decision to come here changed not only my life but my families' lives also. If I hadn't came here to become a witch my parents would still be alive and at some muggle school watching me graduate. 

I also gave up my friends in one of the hardest crossroads I may ever face. I haven't spoken to them in two years or hardly anyone for a fact. They live in my dorms and used to be my only family but now even though we are physically close we will always remain far away. Head Girl means that the person is smart, likable, and everything I'm not. Arabella, Destiny, Dria, or even Trinity should be up here making this speech but no the teachers gave me a second chance which I don't deserve. Even though I'll miss being here I also want to get out of here. Our times at Hogwarts won't ever be something we shall forget. From the zooming Quidditch games, babbling halls between classes, being picked on by Peeves, snow fights, and psychotic teachers to the havoc wrecked on this school by the Marauders, this place will always be with us. 

I need to escape this place and try to rebuild myself. We have all done things wrong but mine is worse. I know most people detest me now and aren't even listening but I ask for just a few moments of your time. Please always remember that Hogwarts will always be here for you and that even though they might not show it they care. These walls brought us up and will forever remain our guardians. Also you can never run from your past and every one of us deserves to be here right now. All except for me. I've never done anything right and never will. I've learned so much from this place except for the one thing I need most…how to survive when you are given something you don't deserve. I'll shut up now and let you guys graduate. GO CLASS OF 1984!"

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END FLASHBACK

"…I'll shut up now and let you guys graduate. GO CLASS OF 1984!" Bella took a deep breath and began again. "I know most of us tried to tune that out because we hated her then. Ok so I admit I was curious and listened but hey give me a break. Well you know what I'm glad I did because those words are true. We will come to crossroads and make wrong decisions but I think this marriage wasn't one of them and I also think that you Lily never did make that wrong decision of going to Hogwarts. I mean who else would have helped us pass? I'm only gonna say this once now! You guys are perfect for each other and I think that this will be one long marriage. GO LILY AND JAMES!" Clapping was heard all around as Lily fell out of her chair laughing and as Bella hugged her. 

Peter took the microphone next and looked at the two of them.

"I think mine might even be shorter then Sirius' but I remember when Lily said she would never in her life marry James. She said that the only way that would happen is if that if she went girly and James kissed Snape. Well seeing as Lily is actually in a dress robe I guess I can classify that as girly but I guess James hasn't kissed Snape yet. So lets bring in the most hated guy of the year!" People started rolling around laughing as Remus and Sirius brought a tied up Snape to James who had a disgusted look on his face. 

"Lily…"

"Yeah Potter?"

"I hate you…hey wait you're Potter to now!"

"Shut up and kiss him!"

"Do I have to?"

"Hey I'm wearing some shitty dress robe ok. Trust me he only leaves a horrible aftertaste I should know."

"Did I mention I hate you Potter?"

"Yes you did Potter and the feelings mutual."

"POTTER! POTTER! STOP FIGHITNG YOU TWO AND KISS HIM POTTER!"

"Damn this is gonna get confusing ain't it James."

"LOOK SHE CALLED ME BY MY FIRST NAME!"

"JAMES WHATEVER THE HELL YOUR MIDDLE NAME IS POTTER KISS SNAPE NOW!" James groaned and leaned over to kiss Snape on the lips. There were roars of laughter as he kissed him and then hid under the table.

"Happy now Lil?"

"Extremely Remus. Oh Potter you can come out now Snape's been tied to a pole and Sirius, Bella, Trin, and Peter are bout to roast him over the grill." James came out and glanced at Lily.

"I seriously hate you now that I did that. My mouth tastes like grease. Want a kiss?"

"UGH! BACK AWAY JAMES!" She turned on her heel and took off across the garden screaming 'HELP ME!' much to the amusement of everyone.

"Who would have thought that someday those two would get married? I do hope the grow up sooner or later."

"Oh but I have always thought that those two were gonna end up together Minerva. Lily and James grow up? Impossible! Besides it would take the fun out of things!" Professor McGonagall shook her head at Dumbledore and drank some more wine. 

"Lily?"

"Yes Potter?"

"Have any regrets about this wedding?"

"Actually Potter for the first time in my life I actually don't. It's just like I always pictured it. Wedding in a garden not some stuffy church and then partying all night long. Yup just perfect only I thought I would get married to some incredibly handsome guy."

"That's nice Lil…HEY! I RESENT THAT!" Lily and him were sitting out by a tree watching the sunset over the lake and listening to everyone laughing over at the party. 

"Shut up Potter you know I was kidding."

"Will you stop calling me Pot…" His words were cut off as she kissed him.

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A/N- Ok done with that. You know I started writing that in October around the 13th and now its March 29th? Ain't that sad? Ok I know it's a gay fic and might be hard to follow but I was bored. Flames are welcome and I like them a lot honest. Unlike other authors I appreciate them because they don't give me an ego boost and plus, they help me out. 


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